Big Girl Panties Diaries - Entry #9 I Threw Potatoes at Leaders —and It Was the Best Change Strategy I’ve Used

Let’s talk about anxiety.

Not the polished, self-aware kind we dress up for meetings—“Oh, I’m just a little anxious about this deadline!” I mean the sticky, shape-shifting kind that hijacks your brain like a squirrel in your attic—noisy, relentless, and impossible to reason with.

Mine likes to whisper things like: “Did you offend them?” “Why didn’t they respond yet?” “Better rewrite that email again. Just in case.”

Sound familiar? You’re not alone.

A while back, I led a leadership change planning session with a team facing some tough transitions. We knew going in: resistance would be high, anxiety would be higher, and many of the “old ways” were about to be challenged. The night before the session, I stopped at Whole Foods and picked up a large bag of potatoes.

Yes, actual potatoes.

The rule was simple: If you express resistance, fear, anger, or anxiety about a new idea—someone throws a potato at you. And you drop it like it’s hot.

By the end of the session, the center of the room was covered in potatoes—a literal pile of worries, doubts, and “but we’ve always done it this way” moments. It was funny at first. But then it got powerful.

People could see their fears, their resistance, and their energy—wasted energy—right there in plain sight. And something shifted. The future became easier to talk about once they became conscious of what they were clinging to.

The potatoes gave them permission to let go.

That’s the thing about anxiety. It is the potato. Not the change. Not the challenge. Not the person sitting across from you. It’s the sweaty, stress-lump we keep tossing around, hoping someone else will take it—or that if we hold it long enough, it’ll magically disappear.

Spoiler: it doesn’t.

And for too long, I’ve clutched that potato like it was my job.

I come from a long line of worriers. The kind who can what if their way from a missed call to a full-blown disaster scenario in under 60 seconds. Over time, I’ve learned how to improve my ability to let go—thanks in large part to running and yoga, which have been my mental and physical backups when my brain gets loud. They’ve taught me how to breathe, how to move through discomfort, and how to sit with uncertainty without letting it take over.

As a former worrier (with honorary lifetime membership), I’ve come a long way. But I’ll admit—I’m still hypersensitive to how anxiety presents in others. I can spot it a mile away: the spiraling, the over-explaining, the frantic humor, the quiet withdrawal. And sometimes, when I see it, it reminds me of how much energy we spend trying to hold it all together—for ourselves and for everyone else.

Here’s what I’ve learned (again and again):

• You can be prepared and still feel anxious. That’s not weakness. That’s human.

• Boundaries aren't selfish. They’re survival.

• You don’t have to carry what isn’t yours—even if it’s being handed to you with urgency and a side of guilt.

• And maybe most importantly: we have to rewire our brains to recognize that letting go isn’t failure—it’s freedom.

If you’ve seen Inside Out 2, you know what I mean. There’s a brilliant scene where Anxiety and her crew start rapid-firing “what ifs,” spiraling into every terrible thing that could possibly happen. It’s chaotic, frantic—and painfully accurate.

But here’s the thing: we think we’re helping ourselves by predicting every possible outcome. We think if we can spot the disaster first, maybe we can stop it from happening. It’s self-protection dressed up as preparedness. But most of the time, it just keeps us stuck in fear instead of moving forward in trust.

We what if ourselves to death, when what we really need is to pause, breathe, and ask: What if it actually works out?

Dropping the potato doesn’t mean dropping the ball. It means you’re not letting anxiety run the show.

So if you’re in the middle of change, or chaos, or just an inbox full of stress—this is your reminder:

Drop the potato.

Your brain, your team, and your future will thank you.

💬 What’s the potato you’ve been carrying lately? 📸 Extra points if you’ve got a metaphor or moment that made you finally let go—I’d love to hear it.

🩲 Big Girl Panties Rule: Just because you’re carrying it doesn’t mean it’s yours to hold.

#BigGirlPantiesDiaries #DropThePotato #ChangeFatigue #AnxietyIsALiar #InsideOut2 #WhatIfOverload #MentalHealthAtWork #LeadershipLessons #RewireYourBrain #LeadWithHeart #BGPD