Big Girl Panties Diaries - Entry #10 Yes, I Overpacked—But I’m Learning to Travel Lighter (Even at Work)
I used to think I could keep my personal life out of the workplace. Show up polished, prepared, and ready to deliver. Professionalism, right?
A very long time ago, one of my first jobs was as a manager at a high-end department store. Fresh out of college, I went through a corporate training program where one of the core messages was: “Check your baggage at the door.” Emotions weren’t welcome. Personal struggles were unprofessional. The goal was to be buttoned-up, composed, and always in control.
We were programmed.
A few years later, I managed a small women’s fashion boutique at the age of 24—with a staff of mostly 60-somethings. One of their first complaints?
“She doesn’t tell us anything about herself. We don’t even know who she is.”
(In fairness, this was also after I asked them not to paint their nails or snack on the sales floor.)
I had done what I thought I was supposed to do. Stay professional. Keep it together. Don’t get too personal.
But here’s the thing: the blur between work and personal life is sometimes invisible. There’s no clean handoff between the two. Not anymore. Technology has accelerated, our workstyles have changed—and some days my commute is 15 seconds. Other times, it’s 3 hours. We move from parenting to presentations, caregiving to calendar invites, survival mode to “Can you join this call real quick?” There isn’t always time to pause and reassemble.
And honestly? That still echoes today.
Because no matter how polished I look or how well I plan, I don’t leave my emotional baggage at home. I wheel it in like a woman who packs for a 3-day trip with 6 days’ worth of outfits, 2 phone chargers, backup snacks (gluten-free, of course), and emergency Zyrtec just in case.
Everyone who knows me well knows I’m a chronic over-packer. I always blame it on the shoes, but truthfully—it’s deeper than that. I like to plan my outfits in advance. Keep them on hangers for ease and to avoid ironing. I use packing cubes to organize my PJs and workout clothes. And I like having options. Options make me feel prepared. Prepared makes me feel safe.
And while we’re on the subject: I always check my bag. Never carry-on. I loathe stuffing suitcases into overhead bins while twenty impatient people breathe down my neck. I hate waiting in line on the jet bridge. I travel a lot—and I have preferences. Boundaries, even.
I always overdo it.
It’s funny how that kind of energy doesn’t just apply to travel. I bring that same intensity to work. I over-prepare. Anticipate problems before they arise. Carry emotional insurance policies for moments that might go sideways.
Some people travel light. I travel emotionally… prepared.
In a past life, I was called “high maintenance” by a team I loved—lovingly, they said. But I wasn’t trying to be difficult. I was trying to manage the chaos before it managed me.
See, my “baggage” isn’t about being extra. It’s about protection. It’s the voice in my head that says:
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“Be perfect, or be rejected.”
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“Be helpful, or be forgotten.”
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“Be strong, or be a burden.”
That baggage? It shows up at work whether I want it to or not. It sits quietly in meetings, flares up in feedback sessions, and hitches a ride in every project where I feel unseen or unsure.
Big Girl Panties Rule:
Your triggers are your teachers—but they don’t get to run the meeting.
Over time, I’ve learned the difference between being prepared and being consumed. Between anticipating needs and assuming the worst. Between being “on it” and being on edge.
Now, I still carry my emotional baggage—but I check it with more self-awareness. I pause. I unpack. I ask, “Is this about now—or about then?”
Because the more I unpack, the lighter I lead. And let’s be honest—overpacking could also be a love language.
But here’s the thing: we’re not meant to be robots in blazers. It’s okay to be human. To have a story. To let people in—just enough to see that there’s a real person behind the polished deliverables.
The work is finding that balance: Sharing just enough to build trust and connection. Unpacking enough to be authentic, but not unraveling. Letting people see you—not your resume.
Because when we show up as ourselves—baggage, quirks, snacks, and all—we give others permission to do the same. And that’s where the real trust starts.
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