Big Girl Panties Diaries – Entry #2 Catfish Chic: AI Gave Me a New Face and a Real Estate Career
At the ACMP conference this week, over cocktail hour a group of us got into a hilariously honest conversation about AI headshots. Some were curious. Some were skeptical. And a few were deeply disturbed.
"I feel like I’m being catfished," one person said, then quickly laughed and added, "Excluding present company, of course." We cracked up. But the comment stuck.
Because… yeah. Same. Maybe you can relate?
I’ve had a long history with headshots. It started with the classic high school senior portrait—soft lighting, big hair, and a maroon sweater that screamed ‘90s realness. Then came the corporate glamour shots—power poses, chunky jewelry, and strategic lighting meant to whisper, “executive presence.”
In between? A trail of photos taken at conferences, leadership meetings, and networking events. Some turned out great. Others… looked like I had been held hostage under fluorescent lighting and told to “smile, but not too much.” They say a picture’s worth a thousand words—just hope none of them are ‘yikes
And of course, no one in my family understands any of this. Not a single one of them has ever had a professional photo taken for a job, so they lovingly roast me: “Oh look, it’s another Julie glamour photo shoot.” “Which version of you is this one?”
So, a while back, after a close colleague recommended it and was happy with the results, I decided to try the AI instant headshot trend—and the results were... interesting.
I got 50 versions of myself ranging from:
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“Why does one eye look like that?”
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“Those are NOT my body parts.”
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“I want to be that girl when I grow up.”
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“I’d never wear that—but maybe I should?”
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“I guess this one kinda works…”
Over the years, I’ve hosted countless virtual meetings and broadcasts. And more than once, when meeting someone in person afterward, they’ve said, “You actually look better in real life.” It always makes me laugh—but it’s also a reminder: people are three-dimensional. Photos, screens, and AI-generated images are only two. They flatten us. Strip away the spark, the nuance, the quirks that make us us.
And let’s be honest: we’ve all had that photo. Or if you are like me, you've had many of those moments. The one taken from a horrible angle at an unforgiving moment. It’s not just unflattering—it’s upsetting. Because it doesn’t feel like us. Because it isn’t.
But here’s where it gets surreal: AI doesn’t just give you a bad photo. It gives you a fantasy version of yourself. And if you’re not careful, you start to believe she’s the one who should be showing up to the big meetings.
Which brings me to the real question:
Will the real Julie Whitten please stand up?
Because somewhere between the senior pic, the corporate headshots, the conference freebies, and the AI glow-up, I started wondering: when does “putting your best face forward” turn into “putting on a face that isn’t even yours”?
🩲 Big Girl Panties Rule: You can glow up, but don’t hide your real self.
Here’s what I’ve learned from decades of trial, error, and facial filtering:
1. Confidence Isn’t a Filter AI might give you contour, but it can’t fake confidence. The version of you that walks into the room still matters more than the one on LinkedIn.
2. You Don’t Need to Disappear to Be Seen There’s a fine line between polishing and pretending. If your headshot doesn’t feel like you, it probably isn’t.
3. Intent Over Image Using AI because it’s efficient or fun? Great. Using it because the real you doesn’t feel “enough”? That’s a cue to dig deeper, not gloss over.
4. The Real You Is Good Enough People connect with people—not pixels. The real you is the one who leads teams, tells the truth, and maybe laughs when her sister texts, “Nice headshot. You look like you’re about to sell me a condo.”
So yes, I’ve had many headshots. Some cute. Some cringe. Some AI-enhanced.
Big Girl Panties Rule - Own your face. Whether it’s captured in a studio, at a conference, or courtesy of an algorithm—just make sure it still feels like you.
And if it looks a little real estate fabulous? So be it. Just be ready when someone leans in and says, “I think I’m being catfished… excluding present company, of course.”
#BigGirlPantyDiaries #CatfishChic #AIHeadshots #AuthenticityAtWork #OwnYourFace #WomenInLeadership #PersonalBrand