Big Girl Panties Diaries — Entry #70: Tapas Isn’t Just for Dinner

Yesterday in yoga, my instructor talked about finding the heat—or “tapas”—in the poses. Not the kind that comes with sangria and a side of olives. In yoga, tapas is the discipline and focus you build by leaning into challenge instead of avoiding it.

It was, without exaggeration, the hardest class I’ve ever taken. My mat was damp, my breath was ragged, and the heat radiating off my body felt like its own weather system. This wasn’t just exercise—it was transformation disguised as sweat.

Every sequence was designed to mess with me—in the best way. She’d throw us into a totally unfamiliar, almost impossible pose (hello, screaming quads), then shift us into something comfortable and familiar. Just when my body thought, Oh thank God, we’re safe now, she’d push us right back into the unknown.

It wasn’t random. It was strategic. She was teaching us to be okay with discomfort—and to appreciate comfort without clinging to it. Both are temporary. Both are teachers.

At one point, my legs were shaking so badly I thought, I’m just going to sit here and pretend to adjust my mat. That’s the same mental bargaining I’ve seen on project teams: How much longer? Can we skip this step? Resistance isn’t failure—it’s feedback.

And as I wobbled in yet another “what even IS this pose?” moment, I started thinking—what if we applied this to change management in projects? We so often try to make change a straight line from “now” to “better.” But real change—like a good yoga sequence—needs both the heat and the release. Push people into the unfamiliar, yes, but alternate with moments of comfort, stability, and wins they recognize. That balance builds resilience instead of burnout.

I once watched a leader push a team through back-to-back system changes without any pause for regrouping. By the end, they weren’t just tired—they’d lost trust in the process. The lesson? You can’t hold every “hard pose” forever. Comfort isn’t a distraction—it’s recovery.

Also, for the record, “finding the heat” is way less glamorous than it sounds when your hair is plastered to your face and your mascara is halfway to your chin.

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How Leaders Can Create Strategic Heat

• Alternate the stretch and the steady – Introduce challenging changes in phases, with intervals of familiar work or quick wins.

• Normalize the wobble – Let people know that uncertainty and discomfort are part of the process, not a sign of failure.

• Build recovery into the plan – Just like in yoga, you can’t hold every “hard pose” forever—schedule moments of rest and recognition.

• Use heat intentionally – Challenge teams where it matters most, not everywhere at once.

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Because here’s the thing: the pose doesn’t last forever. Neither does the downtime. Comfort reminds you of who you are. Discomfort shows you who you can be.

Big Girl Panties Diaries Rule: Don’t run from the heat—design it in. Whether it’s a project plan or a yoga class, it’s cooking you into the next version of yourself.

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Related Reading from Big Girl Panties Diaries:

• Messy Middle: Where the Magic Happens – Why the in-between is the most transformative place you’ll ever stand.

• Creating Margin: The Space I Didn’t Know I Needed – How to build breathing room when the pace feels relentless.

• Not Enough Is a Liar (But She’s Very Convincing) – The sneaky voice that shows up in moments of challenge.

• Drop the Potato: Manage Your Change Anxiety & Persevere – A change leadership reframe for when the heat feels too much.

• Yes, I Overpacked—But I’m Learning to Travel Lighter (Even at Work) – Choosing what to keep and what to let go during transition.