Big Girl Panties Diaries: Entry #71 — Why I Keep Vomiting Out Feelings

It’s not pretty. It’s not cute. And it’s definitely not in any self-help book under “Best Communication Practices.” But apparently, my coping mechanism of choice these days is… putting my feelings out there. In public. On purpose.

If you’ve been following along, you know this isn’t my first time cracking myself open here. I’ve written about meeting the real me and how freedom finally fit. I’ve shared about finding my voice in hard places and why emotional constipation is real. Every time, I’m reminded—what helps me heal often helps someone else, too.

I didn’t start out this way. I used to be a master at lockdown mode—tight smile, polite nod, and a well-rehearsed “I’m good, just busy.” My feelings lived in a triple-sealed vault that even I didn’t have the combination to. I told myself it was strength. Turns out, it was just emotional constipation with better branding.

Later in life, I learned that keeping it all in wasn’t actually healthy—though I was in good company. The more I began talking to others, the more me rooms I found. Safe spaces where I could drop the act without someone slapping a “too much” label on me.

Then my work in change management cracked the vault wide open. I started leading what I jokingly called “group therapy” sessions—conversations about how people move through change, what they lose, what they fear, and how messy the middle really is. And once I started sharing, I realized the impact: my honesty wasn’t just helping me, it was helping them.

That’s when the Big Girl Panties Diaries was born. Now, every single day, I ask myself:

• How do I feel?

• What did I learn?

• What do I need?

• What’s bothering me?

And then I write about it—unfiltered, unpolished, and as true as I can make it. I don’t share everything with everyone in my life, but I do share it here—because I’ve learned that telling my truth out loud makes someone else braver to tell theirs.

Part of why I do this? Authenticity is rare. I spent so many years trying to fit into a mold that never really fit me—sanding down my edges, speaking in “acceptable” ways, hiding the mess. I thought it was what I had to do to belong. Now, I’ve found a different kind of belonging—the peace that comes from embracing my true self, sharp edges and all.

It’s still a little messy. Sometimes vulnerable. Always real. And I’ve stopped thinking of it as “oversharing” and started seeing it as offering.

Because when you name a feeling, you make it easier for someone else to name theirs. And maybe that’s the point.

Big Girl Panties Diaries Rule: Your feelings aren’t a burden—they’re a bridge.

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If this one resonated, you might also like:

• Professional Me Is My PR Team — Meet the Real Me — the moment I stopped sanding down my edges.

• Freedom Looks Good on Me (Even If It Took Me a While to Try It On) — breaking out of the mold that didn’t fit.

• What 35 Doctors (and One Boss) Taught Me About Finding My Voice — speaking up when it’s hardest.

• Emotional Constipation Is Real (And No One Wants to Be Around a Crankpus) — the prequel to my emotional honesty era.