Big Girl Panties Diaries – Entry #60: Am I Too Old for Roller Coasters? (And Other Lies Fear Tells Me)
Somewhere between pit stops and prescriptions, we made a spontaneous decision: why not detour to Hershey Park?
Because when you’re on your way to a medical appointment in Baltimore, the logical choice is to throw your chronically ill teen and slightly-anxious younger daughter on some roller coasters. Right?
Except this time, it wasn’t spontaneous. It was Round 2.
Just a week earlier, we’d stopped in Hershey by accident. In Entry #51: The Sweet Spot Isn’t on the Map, I wrote about that unexpected pause—and how a random night at Chocolate World turned into a moment of joy we didn’t know we needed. It reminded me that healing doesn’t always look like progress… sometimes it looks like play.
But this time? We chose the play.
Hailey wanted to go back—not just for chocolate, but for the coasters.
And when a teenager who has spent more time in waiting rooms than classrooms tells you she wants to do something loud, fast, and exhilarating—you say yes. You don’t question it. You grab the Happy Ending passes, slather on SPF 70, and pray your neck survives it.
Cue my internal monologue:
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“What if it’s too much for her?”
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“What if I’m too old for this?”
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“What if we should’ve just stuck with something safe like a nice scenic bench?”
But here’s the truth: I wasn’t always this cautious.
When I was a kid, I was terrified of upside-down roller coasters. Until high school. A friend dragged me onto the Super Dooper Looper—at this exact park. I was scared stiff. Then I rode it… and I was hooked.
Spoiler: I’m a screamer. Loud. Unapologetic. Joyfully obnoxious.
So what did I do with Anna, who’d never been on an upside-down ride? The same thing. Dragged her onto the Super Dooper Looper like a rite of passage.
She was nervous. But after one ride? She was lit up. Eyes wide. Heart racing. She yelled, “Let’s do it again!”
And then came the grand finale: Candymonium. The biggest. The fastest. The coaster with a name that sounds like sugar and chaos had a baby.
I could feel the fear creeping in. Not just “what if I puke” fear, but “what if I’m not built for this anymore?” fear. The kind that sounds a lot like: “You’ve aged out of fun.” But I remembered what I said in that last entry—the sweet spot isn’t on the map. And maybe, sometimes, it is 210 feet in the air.
So I made a deal with myself: “All I have to do is let go and scream.”
And I did. We all did.
We screamed and soared and forgot—just for a minute—that life had been heavy. We made a memory louder than the MRI machines, more thrilling than test results, and more healing than anything a specialist could prescribe.
Here’s what I learned (again) at Hershey Park:
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Joy isn’t just something you stumble into—it’s something you can chase down.
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Screaming your head off in public is deeply underrated.
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Courage is contagious—especially when passed down like a family tradition.
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And you’re not too old. You’re just overdue for a reminder that you’re still alive.
Big Girl Panties Diaries Rule: Round 1 was a surprise. Round 2 was a decision. When life hands you a rerun, don’t waste it—get in line, let go, and scream like it’s the first time.
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