Big Girl Panties Diaries – Entry 59: The Messy Middle Is Where the Magic (and Meltdowns) Happen

No one celebrates the middle.

We love a dramatic beginning. A bold leap. A courageous yes. We adore a triumphant ending. A lesson learned. A shiny ribbon tied around the pain.

But the middle? The messy, unfiltered, anxiety-inducing middle? That part gets glossed over—if it’s mentioned at all.

Welcome to the land of WTF now? The space between what was and what’s next. Where your old habits don’t quite fit, your new ones aren’t fully formed, and you’re just hoping no one notices the existential glitter glue holding you together.

I know this place well.

I’ve lived in the messy middle of:

• Job loss before reinvention

• Medical uncertainty before diagnosis

• Disconnection before clarity

• Change plans before results

• Growth spurts that felt more like identity crises

And here’s the thing no one tells you: The messy middle is not a detour. It is the work.

It’s the uncomfortable cocoon before the wings. The stretching season where your capacity grows in ways spreadsheets can’t measure. The part where you’re not being lazy, you’re being re-formed. Where rest and reflection are forward motion, even when they don’t look like it.

But damn, it’s hard.

It’s hard when your inbox still expects efficiency, but your soul is asking for a minute. It’s hard when your confidence is cracked and your coping mechanisms are… under renovation. It’s hard when you don’t have a pithy LinkedIn update or a strategic five-point plan. You just have a pile of feelings, a yoga mat, and a dog who’s starting to look at you like girl, pull it together.

🌀 Middle Moments I Don’t Post About:

In the messy middle, I’ve:

• Cried in the shower

• Said “I’m fine” when I was absolutely not

• Asked the universe for a sign—and then ignored it

• Gone to yoga just to have one place where my nervous system could exhale

• Made peace with the pause, even when it felt like failure

The Toll Nobody Sees

Let’s be real: the middle messes with your mental health. The doubt creeps in. The anxiety spikes. The brain fog doesn’t care about your to-do list. You start asking yourself things like:

“Is something wrong with me?” “Shouldn’t I be past this already?” “Am I doing enough?”

Spoiler: You’re doing more than you think. Growth is quiet. It often looks like nothing’s happening—until everything changes.

What Yoga Taught Me About the Middle

In yoga, we hold poses just long enough to feel our edges—but not so long we injure ourselves. The messy middle is the same: discomfort with purpose. Not punishment, but practice. A breath. A reset. A slow loosening of what no longer fits.

Leadership in the Middle

Professionally, the middle shows up in every change curve we don’t want to talk about.

There’s always that moment after the kickoff but before the results—when the strategy’s in motion but no one really trusts it yet. When leaders have to model clarity without pretending to have all the answers. When the vibe in the room is 10% excitement, 90% “are we sure this is gonna work?”

That’s the messy middle too. And it’s when people most need presence over perfection.

The ability to say:

“This part’s going to be hard. But we’re not lost—we’re just becoming.” That kind of leadership? It’s forged right here.

The Middle Doesn’t Come With a Clock

Sometimes it’s a week. Sometimes it’s years. And no, you don’t get a countdown. You just keep showing up as if it matters—because it does. The healing, the clarity, the re-alignment—they sneak in between all the things you think don’t count.

Eventually, the emails stop feeling so heavy. The tears don’t visit every morning. One day, you laugh—really laugh—and realize you hadn’t done that in a while. That’s when you know: you’re climbing out.

---

Big Girl Panties Diaries Rule: Don’t rush the in-between. That’s where your future self is being built.

Related Reading – If You're Sitting in the Middle Too:

• Not Enough Is a Liar (But She’s Very Convincing) The voice in your head that tells you you’re falling behind? Yeah, she’s a manipulative little gremlin.

• Drop the Potato: Manage Your Change Anxiety & Persevere For when your nervous system says “nope” but your calendar says “go.”

• What Your Energy Says When You’re Not Speaking Sometimes the mess speaks louder than the message. Your presence carries a vibe—make it honest.