Big Girl Panties Diaries - Entry #6 I Love People. I Just Don’t Want to Talk to Them Right Now.

Most people don’t believe me when I say this, but I’m an introvert.

Sure, I lead webinars, give presentations, and speak at conferences like it’s no big deal. I can be "on." I can work a room. But let’s be clear: I’m going to need a nap and a snack afterward—and maybe an hour of complete silence in between.

It’s not about whether you like people (I do). I love people. I love connecting with them. I love understanding them—their passions, what makes them tick, what makes them them. I love advocating for them in the work I do. But I get my energy from solitude—not small talk.

And as a mom to one introvert (Hailey) and one extrovert (Anna), it’s fascinating to watch it all play out at home. My social butterfly thrives on background noise and being in the crowd. Hailey and I? We’ll do anything to avoid a crowd—and live for the quiet moments most people overlook.

There were days when I’d wrap up thirteen back-to-back virtual meetings and collapse into child’s pose on the floor like I was re-entering Earth’s atmosphere. Not to stretch. Not to flow. Just to survive. And afterward? I couldn’t even decide what to eat for dinner. Does anyone else suffer from decision fatigue? Because I’d do anything to avoid talking to a real person—even if it meant ordering from a mediocre place just because they had an app.

And let’s be honest—being hangry is real. The hangry gene runs strong in my family. All three of us are gluten-free, so when we’re low on protein and staring down yet another slice of gluten-free bread that tastes like compressed cardboard? It’s over. We don’t need small talk. We need snacks with substance.

Networking events? I’ve gotten better. But they still suck the life out of me faster than my teenagers can drain a Wi-Fi signal. And here’s the thing—I was so shy growing up, I barely spoke. Barely. So the fact that I can now walk into a room, introduce myself, and hold a conversation? That’s progress. Big girl panty-level progress. But even still, after a few rounds of small talk, I’m spent. Last week at a conference, I genuinely wished for a safe word—some kind of graceful escape hatch—when I realized I had absolutely nothing left to give.

And while I might need a moment (or a whole afternoon) to recharge, I deeply respect extroverts. You light up rooms. You bring energy and connection. You’re often the reason people feel seen—and I admire that.

Even when traveling, I’ve learned to guard that recharge time. I used to leave my AirPods in the entire time I was at the airport—even if nothing was playing. You see, I’d attracted some interesting travel companions over the years. For me, flying isn’t stressful—it’s peaceful. I love seeing the sunrise or sunset from above the clouds. But more than that, I love the quiet time it gives me. No meetings, no emails, no decisions. Just stillness in the sky.

Maybe it’s an aging thing. Or maybe it’s just wisdom finally sinking in.

These days, I’m fiercely protective of my energy. I’m learning to restore it in the things that feed my soul: hot yoga, running, quiet time, chasing waterfalls—and yes, my favorite playlist. (Think: a little Coldplay, a little One Republic, some 90s jams, maybe Pitbull or Rihanna for workouts, some sappy sad songs and a lot of “leave me alone, I’m vibing.”)

During COVID, I became absolutely obsessed with waterfalls. I always knew Ithaca was famous for them, but what I didn’t know was how many lesser-known ones were practically in our backyard. Sometimes I’d take the girls and we’d hike for miles—Anna talking our ears off the whole time while Hailey and I stayed quiet, taking it all in. And sometimes, I’d go alone. Just me, the sound of water, and a chance to breathe. Those trails became, and have remained, my happy place ever since.

I love exploring. I love adventure. But I also love returning to a space where I can hear myself think.

Big Girl Panties Rule: You don’t have to explain why you need a break. You just have to take one.

#BigGirlPantyDiaries #IntrovertEnergy #EmotionalIntelligence #LeadershipLessons #WorkLifeWisdom #AuthenticityAtWork #HotYogaHeals #ChasingWaterfalls #QuietConfidence