Big Girl Panty Diaries: Before You Lead Others Through Change, Understand Yourself

Organizational change is nothing more than a series of individual changes. The better we understand our own journey through uncertainty, the better equipped we are to help others navigate theirs.

I've always said that organizational change is nothing more than a series of individual changes.

For years, I thought I was describing organizations. Then I realized I was describing people, including myself.

Every difficult conversation, career transition, relationship that ends, health diagnosis, child leaving home, new beginning, or unexpected detour asks us to do the same thing. It asks us to let go of something familiar and step into something uncertain. Change is deeply personal long before it ever becomes organizational.

That realization changed the way I think about leadership.

After more than 25 years of helping organizations navigate AI adoption, digital transformation, ERP implementations, mergers and acquisitions, supply chain transformations, labor initiatives, leadership transitions, restructurings, culture change, and new ways of working, I have learned that the type of change rarely matters. I have partnered with leaders in manufacturing, healthcare, financial services, higher education, utilities, government, technology, and other industries, working alongside executives, HR, finance, operations, supply chain, IT, communications, and frontline teams.

The projects are different. The industries are different. The goals are different. The human experience is remarkably the same.

Every organizational change asks people to leave behind something familiar and step into something uncertain. Sometimes what we lose is obvious, like a role, a team, or a routine. Sometimes what we lose is much harder to see. We lose confidence. We lose certainty. We question our competence. We wonder whether we still belong. We begin to question our identity.

We rarely resist because we love the past.

More often, we resist because we are mourning what we might lose.

One of the things I have noticed over the years is that we are remarkably good at recognizing resistance in everyone except ourselves. We describe other people as resistant, disengaged, negative, or unwilling to change. When it is us, however, we tell a different story. We convince ourselves we are being thoughtful, gathering more information, waiting for the right time, or simply overwhelmed.

Resistance has a funny way of changing its name depending on who owns it.

We judge other people's behavior while we justify our own.

That is why I believe the most important person a leader can understand is themselves. When we recognize how we respond to uncertainty, we become much better at recognizing it in others. Instead of asking, "Why are they resisting?" we begin asking, "What is making this change difficult for them?"

That belief is what ultimately led me to develop the People Stack.

For years, I listened to leaders describe employees as resistant. The more I listened, the more I realized resistance was rarely the problem. It was simply the behavior everyone could see. Underneath that behavior was almost always something else.

Sometimes people lack clarity because they do not understand what is changing or why it matters. Sometimes they are not aligned because leaders are sending mixed messages. Sometimes they question their capability because they do not feel prepared to succeed. Sometimes they struggle with belief because they are not convinced the change is actually better. Sometimes they are simply exhausted after living through one transformation after another.

At the heart of it all is trust.

When trust is low, people question the message, the messenger, and the motivation behind the change. When trust is strong, they are far more willing to step into uncertainty because they believe someone is helping them navigate it.

I have also learned that whether we are talking about organizational change or personal change, most resistance can be traced back to the same three human needs. We all want to feel competent. We all crave certainty. We all want a sense of control.

Those are not organizational needs.

They are human needs.

Over time, I realized something else.

The People Stack is not just a framework for organizations. It is a framework for life.

When I find myself resisting something, I can usually trace it back to one of those same layers. Do I need more clarity? Am I struggling to believe this change is worth it? Do I lack confidence that I can handle what comes next? Have I lost trust? Am I simply grieving something I am not quite ready to let go of?

Those questions are not always comfortable, but they are almost always honest.

Maybe that is the real work of leadership. It is not convincing people to change. It is understanding what change feels like from the inside.

I still believe organizational change is nothing more than a series of individual changes. The difference is that I now understand those individual changes are happening everywhere. They happen at work, at home, in our relationships, throughout our careers, and within ourselves.

The next time you find yourself frustrated by someone else's resistance, pause for a moment and ask yourself, "When was the last time I felt exactly like this?"

Chances are, it was not that long ago.

Maybe every transformation begins with understanding ourselves first.

BGPD Rule: Before you lead others through change, understand yourself first.

Julie Ann Whitten is a change advisor, keynote speaker, and the author of The People Stack: Why Change Fails (and What Actually Fixes It), available now on Amazon. Drawing on more than 25 years of experience leading transformation, communications, and organizational change, she helps leaders understand the human side of adoption and build the trust required to make change stick.