Big Girl Panties Diaries - Entry #49: Seen, Paid, Respected: The Actual Perks People Want

Leadership & The Human...Relationships & Bounda...

Jul 21

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Let’s be clear: this isn’t The Notebook. You don’t need to stand in the rain, cue the dramatic soundtrack, or bring someone a latte with their name spelled correctly to build trust at work.

If you really want to know what people want—from their leaders, teammates, or company culture—it’s not complicated. Spoiler: it’s not a swag box. Well… maybe the snacks. Let’s not get carried away.

So, what do people actually want at work?

Here’s the short version: to be treated like humans, not headcount.

1. To Be Seen (Not Just Watched)

We all want to feel like we matter—that our work, ideas, and effort count for something.

Being “seen” doesn’t mean non-stop praise or empty compliments. It means being recognized in ways that are meaningful, specific, and real.

“You asked the tough questions that changed the direction of that project—thank you.” hits different than “Great job!”

Visibility builds value. And when people feel valued, they stick around—and level up.

(More on this in Entry #14, “Swipe Left, Universe,” where I wrote about the sting of being quietly ghosted—and the power of being seen for who you really are.)

2. Respect Without the Resume Recital

Nobody should have to constantly justify why they’re in the room.

We want to be respected for how we show up and what we contribute—not just for titles, tenure, or loud voices.

Whether you’re a new hire or a seasoned leader, respect shouldn’t have to be earned again every Monday. It should be baked in.

(Echoes the theme of workplace dignity in Entry #6, “I Love People—Just Don’t Make Me Talk to Them All Day,” where I shared how respect includes space, autonomy, and honoring different work styles.)

3. A Safe Space to Speak Up (Without the Backlash)

People want to contribute ideas without worrying they'll be dismissed, sidelined, or talked over.

A team that invites questions, challenge, and disagreement is a team that grows. One that shuts people down? Shrinks.

When people feel safe to speak up, challenge norms, or say “I need help”—that’s where trust (and better work) happens.

4. To Be Paid Fairly. Period.

This one’s not a riddle. People want their compensation to reflect their contribution, skills, and responsibilities.

Not in vague “market adjustments.” Not in pizza parties or gift cards. In actual, transparent pay.

Equity isn’t just a buzzword—it’s a baseline. And if it’s not happening, people notice.

5. Real Flexibility (That Doesn’t Come with a Side of Guilt)

Flexibility is more than working from home on Fridays. It’s about being trusted to manage time, energy, and priorities in a way that works for the business and for life.

People don’t want to feel punished for using PTO. Or burned out for having boundaries. They want the space to be professionals and people.

Let them have lives—and they’ll show up stronger.

(This ties to Entry #8, “Say It, Show It, Mean It,” where I explored how we all need different things to feel supported—some need praise, others need breathing room.)

6. A Leader Who Listens (Really Listens)

Not one who nods while checking email. Not one who only shows up in a crisis.

The best leaders listen with curiosity, give credit freely, and don’t make every conversation about themselves.

You don’t need to have all the answers. You just need to make space for the people who might.

7. Work That Feels Worth It

We all want to know that what we’re doing matters—to someone, somewhere. That it’s not just hours for dollars or slides for slides’ sake.

When work connects to a purpose—even in small ways—people care more, try harder, and bring their best.

No one needs every day to be inspiring. But it helps to believe it’s not all pointless.

8. Clarity > Chaos

People don’t need a play-by-play of every decision, but they do want clarity.

Tell them what’s changing—and why. Share the “what,” but don’t skip the “so what.” Transparency builds trust. Ambiguity builds anxiety.

A culture of silence or spin? That’s not leadership. That’s just confusion with a badge.

(For more on this, check out Entry #12, “Leading Through Ambiguity”—where I unpacked how leaders don’t need certainty, they need clarity.)

9. Feedback That Doesn’t Feel Like a Firing Squad

People want to improve—but they don’t want to be blindsided or bulldozed.

Feedback should be timely, respectful, and useful—not delivered once a year like a surprise performance grenade.

Try:

“Here’s what worked. Here’s what we can build on.” Instead of: “We’ll revisit this next quarter—maybe.”

Growth doesn’t happen in the dark.

(Related to “Put On Your Big Girl Panties: The Power of Clear & Kind Conversations”—because people can handle the truth… if you deliver it with respect.)

💬 If You Lead People—Ask. Don’t Assume.

Want to know what your team really wants? Ask them.

Simple questions like:

“What helps you feel successful here?”
“What’s getting in your way?”
“How can I support you better?”

Listening costs nothing. Losing great people? That’s expensive.

🚫 What This Isn’t About

This isn’t about entitlement. It’s about engagement. People aren’t asking for luxury—they’re asking for basic decency.

Being treated fairly, heard clearly, and supported consistently shouldn’t be revolutionary. But in too many workplaces, it still is.

🎤 Mic-Drop Moment

Want to be an employer of choice? Start by being a human of choice.

Big Girl Panties Diaries Rule: People don’t need perfect. They need real. Give them that—and watch what happens.