Big Girl Panties Diaries - Entry #22 - Orbiting: The Illusion of Connection (At Work — and Everywhere Else Too)

Relationships & Bounda...Leadership & The Human...

Jun 29

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Orbiting isn’t just for satellites. People orbit too. We circle the same runway, burning fuel on polite maybes, never quite landing the plane.

Some conversations never really land. You know the ones: the endless “We should catch up soon!” The “My door’s always open” that’s always metaphorical. The “Text me anytime” that feels warm until you realize you’re the only one ever pressing send.

It happens at work all the time:

The leader who says, “Let’s collaborate more!” but never signs off on a single next step.
The partner who promises, “We’ll circle back,” but you’re the one endlessly circling.
The coworker who keeps you orbiting around maybe, someday, later — but never now.

Orbiting looks productive. It feels polite. It even feeds hope — for a while. But it’s not progress. It’s just airtime.

It Happens Everywhere

Orbiting isn’t just a workplace habit. We do it in our personal lives too:

The friend who always says, “Let’s catch up soon!” but never puts it on the calendar.
The person who stays in your messages — dropping hints, making soft plans — but never follows through.
The “one day” promises that stay up in the air because the idea feels safer than the reality.

Some people aren’t malicious — they just love the idea of connection more than the messy, vulnerable work of bringing it down to earth.

Sometimes You’re the Pilot, Too

If I’m honest? Some days, I’m the one orbiting. When I’m tired or in survival mode, it feels easier to hover in the “we should” than commit to the “we will.” It feels safer to keep people at cruising altitude than risk the turbulence of touch-down.

Orbiting can feel protective. But staying in the air forever costs more than you think.

Hope can keep you circling long after the tank is empty — and when you realize you’re the only one in the cockpit, it stings more than any clear “no” ever could.

The Orbiting Gut-Check

If you’ve been circling the same idea or conversation for more than three months — you’re orbiting.
If every next step depends on someone else’s “sometime,” you’re orbiting.
If you’re re-reading messages for hidden signals instead of seeing clear actions, you’re orbiting.

At some point, you have to ask: Are we ever landing this thing? Or am I just stuck circling because it feels safer than facing what’s real?

What It Costs You at Work

Orbiting doesn’t just drain your energy — it erodes trust. Teams lose faith in leaders who keep everyone in endless “alignment” meetings but never make a decision. People stop bringing their best ideas when they know the plane’s never landing anyway.

“Trust grows when people see you’re willing to do the hard work — not just talk about it.”

Connection is a beautiful story — but trust is built when you touch down.

The Power of True Connection

Connection — real connection — needs a landing strip. Ideas need follow-through. Trust needs commitment.

Some people can’t — or won’t — land the plane. That’s on them. Sometimes, it’s you. Either way, your Big Girl Panties job is to stop burning fuel on polite maybes.

Call the meeting. Clarify the relationship. Have the conversation. Land the plane — or step off the runway.

The best connections don’t always land perfectly — but they touch down together, bumps and all.

Hope is expensive. Fuel is finite. No one’s refunding you for the miles you flew in circles.

Big Girl Panties confession: some days I forget my own rule and orbit anyway. But at least I know when to grab my parachute.

🩲 Big Girl Panties Rule: If they keep you orbiting — or you keep yourself orbiting — build your own runway.

#BigGirlPantiesDiaries #Leadership #WorkplaceCulture #Trust #Connection #ChangeLeadership