Big Girl Panties Diaries - Entry #12: Leading Through Ambiguity (Without Losing Your Mind or Your Panties)
You know what's underrated? Clarity. You know what's unavoidable? Ambiguity.
Whether it’s navigating AI disruption, corporate restructures, relationships, or a chronic illness that doesn’t follow a textbook—leading through uncertainty is the ultimate endurance sport. No map, no milestones, and definitely no medals.
I’ve done it in boardrooms, backrooms, and hospital rooms. And spoiler: it’s all hard. But it also teaches you how to lead when the lights are flickering and the script goes missing.
When Hailey got sick, we were thrown into a fog of unknowns—doctors without answers, treatments that made things worse, and a future that felt like quicksand. Meanwhile, I was playing air traffic controller—coordinating care at home while leading crisis comms, driving change initiatives, managing teams, and hosting broadcasts and town halls like everything was fine. I had to sound steady when I felt like a cracked teacup holding boiling water.
And still—every day—I try to do the next right thing. Sometimes it’s big: a new specialist, a new treatment, a tough conversation. Other times it’s small: scheduling a follow-up, making her laugh, taking a breath. In ambiguity, forward isn’t always fast—but it’s still forward.
There are days I feel completely defeated—frustrated that we haven’t figured it out yet. And then I look at her. At how she carries herself with so much grace through all of it. And I know: giving up isn’t an option. Letting her stay in bed for six months out of the year isn’t our story. We’ll keep advocating, keep talking to people, keep exploring both eastern and western medicine—until we find a way.
Guess what? Ambiguity in business feels eerily similar. No one knows what’s going to happen—especially with AI transforming how we work, lead, and connect. Everyone’s waiting for someone else to figure it out. And there you are—trying to help people feel safe enough to move forward, even when you’re not totally sure what forward looks like.
This is what it means to lead through ambiguity—without losing your mind, or your panties.
Here’s what I’ve learned (the hard way):
5 Things They Don’t Tell You About Leading Through Ambiguity:
1. Clarity is a leadership behavior, not a circumstance. You don’t wait for it—you create it. Start with what is known and build from there. “Here’s what we know. Here’s what we’re still figuring out. Here’s what happens next.” It works in ERs and in exec meetings.
2. People don’t need perfection—they need permission. To ask questions. To feel frustrated. To keep going anyway. Ambiguity makes people feel exposed, and psychological safety becomes oxygen.
3. Trust is the only true shortcut. When the path is unclear, people follow people they trust. Not titles, not task lists. This goes for your kids, your colleagues, and yourself.
4. You’ll carry invisible weight. If you’re the one people are looking to, chances are you’re also the one holding space, catching emotions, translating chaos into coherence. Build your own support squad (and yes, therapy counts).
5. You won’t always get it right—and that’s okay. Grace is part of the job description. So is modeling what it looks like to keep going anyway. (Bonus points if you admit when you're figuring it out too.)
The truth is, some of the people you’re leading right now are navigating silent storms of their own—sick kids, aging parents, burnout they don’t know how to name. Ambiguity at work feels even heavier when life outside of it is uncertain, too.
If you're leading through your own fog—whether it’s at work or at home—know that you're not alone. The path is hard, but there are others out here, toe-dipping and trying to do the next right thing too.
So if you’re in the fog: keep going. Dip your toe in. Do the next right thing. Clarity doesn’t come all at once. Sometimes it shows up one honest conversation at a time.
And remember:
Big Girl Panties Diaries Rule: Don’t wait for the light to come back—put on your big girl panties and lead through the eclipse.
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