Woo Is Optional. Credibility Is Not.

For those of you who’ve been following along, you know I stepped into a new adventure last fall — launching my consulting practice and fully owning this second-chapter season of work.

And what’s been striking is how many of my friends and former colleagues seem to be in the same place right now.

Some are building their own businesses. Some are raising their hands for something new inside their organizations. Some are actively exploring what’s next after years of success in roles that no longer fit.

Different paths — same season.

What I’m deeply grateful for is that none of us are navigating this alone.

We’re crowdsourcing this chapter together — comparing notes, sharing lessons, making introductions, swapping encouragement, and normalizing the messy middle in real time. I’ve written before about my love for connecting people, and this season has reinforced why. There’s something grounding about realizing this isn’t a solo act. It’s a shared journey — one conversation, coffee, text thread, or “you two should meet” moment at a time.

And all of that has surfaced a question I didn’t expect to wrestle with quite so much.

This is the question that keeps surfacing for me — and for many people I’m talking with right now: How do you build momentum — whether it’s a business or a next chapter — in a world that celebrates selling styles that don’t actually fit how you’re wired?

Because there’s no shortage of advice out there.

Cold DM more. Work the room. Pitch yourself boldly. Follow up seven times. Smile while you sell.

It’s a familiar script. And if it’s never quite fit, you’ve probably wondered — quietly — whether the problem is you.

When the Dominant Playbook Doesn’t Fit

We live in a Woo world.

A world that rewards speed over depth. Charm over credibility. Visibility over trust.

That model works beautifully for some people.

But for others — thoughtful leaders, second-chapter professionals, people who build relationships before they build pipelines — it can feel awkward at best and deeply misaligned at worst.

This isn’t about dismissing Woo or the people who lead with it. The ability to create fast connection, open doors, and build immediate energy is a real gift — and it works beautifully for many.

The tension comes when we treat that style as universal, instead of recognizing that different wiring calls for different ways of building momentum.

I know this because I’ve lived it.

According to my CliftonStrengths, Woo is last. Dead last. Thirty-four out of thirty-four.

Which means I don’t love transactional conversations dressed up as connection. I don’t enjoy convincing someone I just met that they need me. And I have never once thought, You know what sounds fun? Cold pitching.

For a while, I assumed that meant I was doing something wrong.

The Question Beneath the Question

Lately, people keep asking some version of:

“So… how’s the consulting thing going?”

They’re usually not asking about revenue. They’re asking whether this quieter, slower, more human way of building momentum actually works.

Here’s the honest answer:

It’s going really well. It’s really hard. And it’s exactly what I hoped it would be — just not in the way I naïvely imagined.

What surprised me most wasn’t the work itself.

It was realizing how much energy I was burning trying to sell in ways that didn’t match how I actually build trust.

What This Work Really Looks Like

Most days, meaningful consulting doesn’t look like pitching.

It looks like early mornings and long drives. Steel-toed boots and safety briefings. Whiteboards, field notes, and listening more than talking.

It looks like asking better questions instead of having faster answers. It looks like earning trust the slow way — by showing up consistently, honestly, and without an agenda.

That part doesn’t show up on LinkedIn banners.

But it’s the part that makes the work stick.

The Reframe That Changed Everything

Here’s the shift that mattered:

I stopped trying to win people over.

Instead, I focused on being:

• visible, not persuasive

• useful, not flashy

• honest, not polished

I wrote. I spoke. I connected dots. I let my thinking be seen.

And I trusted that the right work would come through resonance, not pursuit.

That wasn’t passivity. It was alignment.

The Plot Twist About Connection

One thing I didn’t fully anticipate in this chapter was just how much connection would come with it.

New conversations that felt immediately real. Old relationships picking up right where they left off. Introductions that started with, “You two need to know each other.”

That wasn’t new behavior.

It was familiar.

Because long before I ever launched a consulting business, I had been doing this work — connecting people, holding space, building bridges — without calling it business development.

Over time, that trust compounded.

Not fast. Just faithfully.

What This Might Mean for You

If the standard advice has never quite fit, consider this:

You don’t need to become someone you’re not to build momentum.

You might not thrive in crowded rooms. But you know how to steady people in complexity.

You might not love selling. But you know how to serve, see, and solve.

And in environments where the work is real, the stakes are high, and the people doing the job don’t sit behind desks all day — credibility beats charm every time.

The Quiet Truth

Woo is optional.

Trust is not. Credibility is not. Clarity is not.

Some people build businesses by working the room.

Others build them by doing excellent work, telling the truth, and letting relationships deepen over time.

Both paths are valid.

But only one feels like home.

BGPD Rule:

If the advice feels wrong, it might be because it wasn’t written for how you lead. You don’t need to sell louder. You need to sell truer.

And sometimes, the most powerful momentum comes from being someone people trust — and building it together.