An Introvert's Guide to Surviving a Networking Event
There are two types of people at networking events. The first group walks into a crowded room and immediately gains energy from the experience. They seem to know everyone, talk to everyone, and leave with twice as much energy as when they arrived.
The second group walks into a crowded room and immediately starts calculating how long they need to stay before leaving without looking rude.
I am firmly in the second group. People are often surprised when I say that because I spend a lot of time speaking, facilitating workshops, and standing in front of large audiences. In fact, I just came back from the ACMP Global Conference where I presented to a standing-room-only crowd. Put me on a stage with a microphone and a clear purpose and I'm perfectly comfortable. Put me in the networking reception afterward and suddenly I'm looking for the nearest exit, questioning all my life choices, and wondering if it's too late to become a yoga instructor.
I will admit, though, that having a speaker badge can be a bit of a golden ticket. People come to you. They already know something about you. The opening line is built in. I won't lie, having a speaker badge is a networking cheat code.
Remove the badge, and suddenly we're all just standing around the cheese tray trying to look approachable. The challenge comes when the badge comes off. That's when you realize networking is still networking, no matter what title is printed on your nametag.
Over the years, I've developed a few strategies that make these events a little less painful:
First, arrive fashionably late. There is nothing worse than being the first person there. The room is half empty, the conversations haven't started, and everyone is awkwardly checking their phones while pretending not to be awkward. Give the event a little time to warm up before you arrive. Trust me on this one.
Second, grab a drink and make friends in line. The bar, coffee station, and food table are networking gold. Nobody expects a formal introduction because you're already standing next to each other. Some of the best conversations I've had at conferences started while waiting for coffee or a glass of wine.
Third, find the person who knows everyone. Every event has one. The connector. The human LinkedIn algorithm. Find them and ask if they would introduce you to a few people you should meet. Most connectors genuinely enjoy helping people connect. It's their superpower. Why spend an hour trying to break into conversations when someone can help bridge the gap in five minutes?
The biggest lesson I've learned, however, is that successful networking is not about meeting as many people as possible. I used to think it was. Now I know better.
Some of the biggest opportunities in my career came from a single conversation. One connection led to another. One follow-up email turned into a relationship. One introduction became an opportunity.
You do not need to work the room. You just need to find your people. And when you've accomplished that, go home. Seriously. Go home. Put on yoga pants. Read a book. Take a walk. Enjoy the silence. Whatever recharges your battery. My personal recovery plan usually involves as few humans as possible for the remainder of the evening.
The funny thing is that networking events are a lot like change. You walk into uncertainty, assess the environment, look for allies, and try not to panic. Eventually, you realize that most people are feeling exactly the same way you are.
For years, I walked into networking events asking myself, "Who should I meet?"
Lately, I've started asking a different question. "Who might need to meet me?"
That small shift changes everything. It turns networking from self-promotion into service. It reminds me that I have something to offer, just like everyone else in the room. Because the truth is, someone in that room may need exactly what you have to offer. A connection. A perspective. An idea. An opportunity.
Or maybe they're just another introvert standing by the cheese tray trying to look approachable.
Big Girl Panties Rule: You don't have to work the room. You just have to find your people.
P.S. If you've been following Big Girl Panties Diaries for a while, you may remember Entry #6, I Love People. I Just Don't Want to Talk to Them Right Now.
Apparently, a year later, I still love people. I just continue to require strategic recovery periods after networking with them.
Julie Ann Whitten is the author of The People Stack: Why Change Fails (and What Actually Fixes It), keynote speaker, and founder of Julie Whitten Consulting. Through Big Girl Panties Diaries, she explores leadership, change, resilience, and the beautifully messy reality of being human.