Birthdays Are Bittersweet (Pass the Retinol)

Birthdays used to be simple.

When I was 5, a perfect birthday meant: A pretty pink dress. A paper crown covered in stickers. A roller-skating party with my friends. And cherry chip cupcakes with pink frosting and extra sprinkles.

That was it. No reflection. No existential thoughts. No joint pain. Just sugar, glitter, and vibes. Peak living, honestly.

Now?

Birthdays look a little different. Less “princess energy.” More “midlife logistics.”

Like: scheduling your mammogram, Googling “best retinol for women over 40” at 10:47pm, owning more reading glasses than sunglasses, fighting gray hairs that multiply like gremlins, developing a borderline spiritual obsession with hot yoga, suddenly having a full skincare 7 step routine with retinol and hyaluronic acid (thank you Kiehl's), and carrying more supplements than lipstick in my purse

At this point my bag sounds like a maraca. Magnesium. Vitamin D. Something for sleep. Something for joints.

Who even am I? At 25 I wanted happy hour. Now I’m like, “Don’t text me. I have hot yoga, tea with honey, and I’m already in my sweater suit.” Nothing good happens after 9:15 anyway.

And here’s the cosmic joke - my name literally means “youthful one.” Youthful. One. The irony is aggressive. For years I told people, “Oh yeah, I’m externally 28.” Which felt believable for a while. Now I’m thinking I might need to update that number… maybe 34-38 with really flattering lighting…Let’s call it youthful-adjacent.

But here’s the wild part. In my head? I’m still her. Still curious. Still ambitious. Still saying yes to rooms that stretch me. My body just prefers a warm-up and an Advil first. Every sound I make when I stand up now feels medically unnecessary.

And yet…I wouldn’t go back. Not to my 20s trying to prove myself. Not to my 30s trying to hold everything together with caffeine and people-pleasing.

Because this version? She’s better. Less proving. More choosing. Less apologizing. More “no thanks, that sounds exhausting.”

Apparently, aging is when: your metabolism slows down but your boundaries speed up, your eyesight gets worse, but your perspective gets crystal clear, your skin needs retinol, but your confidence needs absolutely nothing.

Honestly? I’ll take that trade all day. And the funny thing? I see this with organizations too. Everyone wants the glow-up. The new strategy. The shiny tech. The big transformation announcement with the slick slides. But nobody wants the aging part. The scars. The false starts. The messy middle. The “we tried that and it didn’t work” years. Companies want to be 25 forever. Fast. Scrappy. Disruptive. But the best organizations I’ve ever worked with? They don’t feel young. They feel seasoned. Calmer. Clearer. Less reactive. More deliberate. They’ve earned their wisdom the hard way.

Just like we do. Because maturity — for people or companies — looks the same: Fewer theatrics. Better boundaries. Stronger judgment. Less ego. More conviction. Less “prove it.” More “we know who we are.”

That’s not decline. That’s depth. Turns out aging is just compound interest for wisdom. For humans. For teams. For businesses. Wrinkles? Basically, leadership credentials. Birthdays don’t feel like parties anymore. They feel like mile markers. Not candles — but courage. Not presents — but people. Not how you look — but how you feel walking into a room.

Sometimes I picture 5-year-old me — pink dress, sticker crown, frosting everywhere — looking at my life now. Running my own business. Speaking on stages. Helping leaders navigate change. Building something that’s actually mine. She wouldn’t care about the gray hairs. She wouldn’t care about retinol. She’d just think, “Wait… we get to be her?!”

So yeah. Birthdays are bittersweet. I’m grateful for another year.

And if getting older means: Stronger voice. Softer heart. Better boundaries. More calmfidence. Hot yoga on purpose. Tea. Honey. Sweater suit. Then fine.

Hand me the candles.

Pass the retinol.

If you’re feeling this shift too — personally or leading a team through it — I see you. Seasoned isn’t slowing down. It’s leveling up.

BGPD Rule: Aging isn’t a downgrade. It’s an upgrade with better boundaries.