Big Girl Panties Diaries – Entry 99: Resistance Is Normal (And Yes, It Sometimes Looks Like a Zoo)

Resistance isn’t bad. It isn’t even unusual. It’s human.

When change shows up, our brains and bodies do what they’re wired to do—protect us. Sometimes that looks like pulling away, pushing back, or roaring a little louder than we meant to.

That’s why, if you’re leading change, resistance isn’t a surprise—it’s a given. The best leaders don’t fight it; they plan for it.

But here’s the twist: resistance doesn’t show up the same way in everyone. It shows up through our wiring—our attachment styles. And when those get triggered at work, they often look a lot like animals.

Welcome to the Resistance Zoo

Change brings out the animal in all of us. Not because people are bad or difficult, but because our nervous system reacts to uncertainty the way it always has—by protecting us. The Zoo is simply a way to name those reactions, laugh a little, and then look at them with empathy. It’s not about judgment; it’s about awareness.

• If your attachment style leans avoidant, you might turn into an Ostrich, burying your head until the storm passes.

• If you’re anxious, hello Moose—big feelings, lots of noise, and an emotional roller coaster.

• If you’re usually secure, you might still slip into Beaver mode, building barriers and trying to control the flow when things feel shaky.

• And if you lean disorganized, don’t be surprised if you ping-pong between Sloth disengagement and Tiger aggression.

The Resistance Zoo is a playful, powerful way to understand why you (and everyone else) behave the way you do when change hits. It’s not judgment. It’s awareness. And once you can name your animal, you can manage it instead of letting it run the show.

Behaviors (The How) vs. Drivers (The Why)

What you see on the surface is rarely the full story. A Wolf may grumble in meetings, but the real driver might be fear of being excluded. A Sloth may check out, but what’s underneath could be exhaustion. Behaviors are just the cover page; the driver is the deeper narrative. Leaders who miss this confuse the symptom for the cause.

• Behaviors are what we see: the Wolf complaining, the Sloth disengaging, the Tiger acting out.

• Drivers are what’s underneath: fear, need for clarity, desire for independence, craving for reassurance.

In other words, your animal behavior is the surface story; your attachment style is the backstory.

Leadership Response Cheat Sheet

When resistance shows up, it’s easy to react with frustration. But every animal behavior is really a clue. Instead of fighting the behavior, leaders can decode the clue, respond to the underlying need, and re-engage the person in healthier ways. This isn’t about coddling—it’s about channeling energy productively.

• Sloth (Disengaged): Re-engage privately, ask their opinion directly, reconnect them to purpose.

• Wolf (Negativity): Acknowledge concerns, redirect to solutions, invite constructive input.

• Ostrich (Avoidance): Provide step-by-step support, simplify, check in regularly.

• Moose (Emotional): Validate feelings, show empathy, connect them to resources.

• Donkey (Unproductive): Reset expectations, coach, hold accountable with clarity.

• Owl (Controlling): Provide data, involve them in analysis, give structured influence.

• Beaver (Barrier Builder): Channel energy into building solutions, invite collaboration.

• Tiger (Acting Out): Stay calm, set boundaries, redirect passion into advocacy.

---

Flip the Script: Hidden Strengths

Here’s the hopeful part: resistance isn’t just a barrier, it’s potential in disguise. The very behaviors that frustrate us are often strengths misapplied. With the right support, the Wolf’s complaints become risk management, the Sloth’s silence becomes calm steadiness, and the Tiger’s fire becomes fearless advocacy. Resistance flips into resilience when leaders know how to reframe it.

• Wolf + Anxious: Yes, they complain—but they’re also incredible risk-spotters who ensure nothing gets missed.

• Sloth + Avoidant: Sure, they check out—but they can also be a calm stabilizer who doesn’t overreact to change.

• Tiger + Disorganized: They’re loud and unpredictable—but with structure, they become powerful advocates.

• Owl + Secure: They may over-question—but they can be thoughtful influencers who build team confidence.

From Resistance to Readiness

If you want a practical way to move people forward, think of it as a cycle: decode the behavior, empathize with the driver, redirect the energy, and normalize resistance as part of the process. This approach doesn’t make resistance vanish—it makes it useful. Instead of seeing it as an obstacle, you start to see it as data that points the way.

1. Decode → Spot the persona (behavior) + style (driver).

2. Empathize → Meet the underlying need (clarity, autonomy, reassurance, structure).

3. Redirect → Flip resistance into contribution.

4. Normalize → Resistance is information, not obstruction.

This is what leadership agility looks like—flexing based on how and why resistance shows up.

Reflection: Pack Conversations

Awareness is powerful, but talking about it together is transformational. When people identify their own animal + attachment style and then share what they need from leaders, it shifts the culture. Suddenly, resistance isn’t something to hide or be ashamed of—it’s something to explore and use as a team strength.

• How does your attachment style change the way your animal persona shows up?

• What does your combo need most from a leader?

• What hidden strength could it bring to transformation?

If you’re a Wolf with an anxious streak, what reassurance would help you shift from critic to contributor? If you’re a Sloth with avoidant tendencies, what autonomy would reconnect you to purpose?

Explore All 32 Types

The real magic happens when you combine animals with attachment styles. That’s where nuance and self-awareness explode—32 profiles that help explain why two people with the same “animal” might still need different things. The handout is your quick guide for decoding, empathizing, and redirecting in real time.

The Zoo gets even more powerful when you layer animals with attachment styles. That’s 8 animals × 4 styles = 32 unique profiles.

I pulled them together in this handout so you can see how your persona + style combo shows up at work—and what leaders can do to flip it: [Download the Resistance Zoo 2.0 Handout (32 Animal × Attachment Style Types)]

Use it as your cheat sheet to decode resistance, empathize with the drivers, and redirect energy into something constructive.

Big Girl Panties Diaries Rule: Resistance isn’t rebellion—it’s a signal. Plan for it, don’t fight it.

Please note: The Resistance Zoo is a tool I use to make sense of universal human behaviors—it’s never about labeling individuals but about creating awareness and empathy during change.