Big Girl Panties Diaries - Entry #73 - She Got the License—And I Got a Masterclass in Resilience

Hailey has been living with long COVID for over three years now. We’ve seen more than 40 doctors in search of answers. There are good days and bad days—and the bad days mean she’s in bed, too weak to do anything except sleep. On those days, the world shrinks to four walls and survival mode.

But on the good days—the rare, hard-earned, golden ones—she’s been inching toward a goal that seemed both thrilling and impossible: her driver’s license.

The first attempt? A fail for going too slow. (Apparently, safety and caution aren’t appreciated in every context. Go figure.)

But two days ago—on attempt number two—she nailed it. She walked out of that DMV with a brand-new license in her hand and a grin that said, “See? I can still do hard things.”

Yesterday, when she pulled out of the driveway to drive herself to volunteering, the engine hummed, the gravel crunched, and I swear my heart tried to follow her down the street. I had that same gut-clench I remember from the first time the school bus picked her up in kindergarten—the fear of what could go wrong. And ironically, that was the day everything went wrong. They actually lost her. She ended up at the bus garage instead of daycare. But that’s a different story for a different day.

Most people see a license as a rite of passage. I see it as a rebellion against every day her body said “no.” Chronic illness can slow the timeline, but it doesn’t erase the milestones. They just arrive fashionably late—and with better stories.

For me, it’s a reminder of what parenting really is—cheering for them to drive off into their own life while secretly wishing they’d stay parked a little longer. And yes, I still have a small part of me that believes anyone I love unsupervised will end up at the bus garage.

Here’s where the leadership lesson sneaks in: letting someone go before you feel “ready” is part of growth—for them and for you. Whether you’re raising kids or leading teams, there comes a point where you have to trust that you’ve prepared them well enough to handle the road ahead, even if you can’t follow in the rearview. The goal isn’t to eliminate every risk—it’s to build confidence and capability so they can navigate when things do go wrong.

The big moments aren’t always the ones in the scrapbook. Sometimes they’re the quiet Tuesdays when someone you love proves to the world—and themselves—they’re still moving forward.

Big Girl Panties Diaries Rule: Celebrate the wins that other people might miss—they’re often the ones that cost you the most to earn.

Big Girl Panties Diaries Side Rule: If you survive the bus garage incident, everything else feels like a win.

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If this hit home, you might also like:

• Entry #66: We Might Have Had a Breakthrough — on cautious optimism in the middle of the unknown.

• Entry #63: That Was Just Thursday: The Practice of Letting Go (Again) — because sometimes release is the bravest act.

• Entry #61: When “Not That” Is Still a Win — reframing victories that don’t look like everyone else’s.

• Entry #59: The Messy Middle Is Where the Magic (and Meltdowns) Happen — celebrating the space between starting and finishing.

• Entry #12: Leading Through Ambiguity (Without Losing Your Mind or Your Panties) — trusting others to take the wheel.

• Entry #4: Sit, Stay, Panic: Leadership Lessons from My Rescue Dog Ash — a leash-loosening lesson in trust.