Big Girl Panties Diaries – Entry #63 That Was Just Thursday: The Practice of Letting Go (Again)

I thought letting go would feel like a grand gesture—some kind of big, bold, cinematic release. Cue the music, fade to peace.

What I’ve learned? Letting go is quieter. Messier. Sometimes it looks like holding on a little less tightly… until your fingers finally unclench.

Sometimes it’s not a one-time thing. It’s a Tuesday thing. And then again on Thursday. It’s a “just when I thought I moved on, I found it hiding in my back pocket” thing.

Because the truth is: We don’t always carry what serves us. We carry what’s familiar. What once protected us. What used to make sense.

At work, that can look like:

• Saying yes out of habit instead of alignment.

• Staying in a role, a meeting, or a relationship that you’ve already outgrown.

• Holding on to an outdated process, project, or way of working—because “that’s how we’ve always done it.”

• Gripping tightly to control, even when delegation would serve everyone better.

• Avoiding hard conversations because it feels safer to stay stuck than to speak the truth.

And sometimes, we don’t even realize we’re holding on—because we’ve built our whole identity around it.

The “fixer.” The “go-to.” The one who always says yes.

“If I don’t do this, who am I?” is a question most résumés can’t answer.

But when it starts to cost you your energy, your clarity, your self-respect—it’s time.

Letting go might mean:

• No longer pretending it’s fine when it isn’t.

• Walking away from what’s misaligned, even if you can’t quite explain why.

• Choosing not to explain it at all.

• Setting down the mental load that was never yours to carry.

• Unsubscribing from the version of you who thought success meant saying yes to everything.

It doesn’t mean you’re ungrateful. Or selfish. Or weak.

It means you’re listening.

To the voice inside you that whispers, "You don’t have to keep doing this." "You’re allowed to change." "You’re allowed to be free."

And yeah—maybe you’ll pick it back up again. We all do. Out of habit. Out of hope. Out of fear.

I almost texted back. I didn’t. I drafted the email. Then hit delete. I walked into that meeting ready to defend myself… and chose silence instead. Tiny choices. But they add up.

Because sometimes, letting go is less about walking away—and more about stepping back. Breathing. Softening your grip. Just enough to remember what lightness feels like.

I used to think the tightness in my chest was just stress. Now I know it’s what holding on too long feels like—literally.

Letting go isn’t just mental. It’s physiological. It’s the unclenching of your jaw. The loosening of your grip. The full exhale.

And if you pick it up again? That’s okay.

Letting go doesn’t mean you failed the first time. It means you’re human. And it means you’re trying again. Which is kind of the whole point.

Until one day, you realize the thing that used to weigh you down? You’re not holding it anymore.

You’re holding yourself.

Big Girl Panties Rule: You’re allowed to release the thing—again and again—until it finally lets go of you, too.

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🩲 Related Big Girl Panties Diaries you might also like:

• “Freedom Looks Good on Me (Even If It Took Me a While to Try It On)” — the prequel to this piece.

• “Drop the Potato: Manage Your Change Anxiety & Persevere” — for when letting go feels like losing control.

• “The Cost of Always Being the Default Planner/Problem-Solver” — if you’re gripping responsibilities that should’ve been shared.

• “Yes, I Overpacked—But I’m Learning to Travel Lighter (Even at Work)” — about emotional (and professional) baggage.

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