Big Girl Panties Diaries - Entry #17: Emotional Constipation Is Real (And No One Wants to Be Around a Crankpus)
There. I said it.
No one wants to be around a crankpus. Not at work, not at home, not in the TSA line when your flight’s delayed and everyone’s pretending to be chill about it.
We all become one from time to time—life gets lifey. But you know the person I’m talking about. The one who sucks the air out of the room, rolls their eyes like it’s cardio, and leads with a sigh instead of a smile. The vibe-killer. The walking “ugh.”
Crankpus energy is contagious, and not in a good way. It spreads like burnt popcorn in the microwave—suddenly the whole floor smells like bitterness.
And let’s call it what it often is: an adult temper tantrum. You’re overstimulated, underappreciated, emotionally maxed out—and instead of naming it or owning it, you unleash it. On your team. On your kids. On the person who dared to speak before coffee. The foot stomps may be metaphorical, but the drama? Very real.
Plot twist: I’ve been there. Especially when I’m overworked, under-slept, or walking around with a metaphorical “kick me” sign from life. And when I’m in that mode, what I think I want is for everyone to tiptoe around me. What I actually need is a reset.
Sometimes that reset comes in the form of a nap. Sometimes it’s a run, a cry, a yoga session, a ice cream, or an honest conversation. Sometimes it’s owning up to the fact that I’m the one bringing the stormcloud into the meeting.
Crankpus mode isn’t about being a bad person—it’s usually a signal. Of burnout. Of resentment. Of unmet needs and emotional constipation (yep, I said it).
And here’s what I always tell Hailey and Anna when their little attitudes kick in: You can feel your feelings. But you don’t get to make everyone else feel them too. No one wants to be around a crankpus. Not at school. Not in the car. Not at the dinner table. Same rules apply to grown-ups—especially the ones leading teams or group chats or families.
One time, Anna looked at me mid-meltdown and said, “Mom, do you need a snack or a hug?” She wasn’t wrong. Sometimes our kids know exactly what we haven’t admitted to ourselves.
Adults? We’re just big children with better vocabulary and worse insurance deductibles. And there’s always a reason behind the crankpus. The trick is figuring out what it is—before you unload it on your coworkers, your kids, or the dog.
And speaking of coworkers…
I’ve seen entire teams shut down because one person walked in with crankpus energy. Leaders set the tone, whether they mean to or not. Emotional self-awareness isn’t just a personal skill—it’s a professional responsibility. Don’t make your team guess which version of you is showing up today.
Leadership isn’t about being in a good mood every day. It’s about knowing what energy you’re bringing into the room—and taking responsibility for it.
Let’s be clear—this isn’t about toxic positivity or pretending everything’s fine. It’s about owning your stuff. Because behind every cranky outburst is usually something else: fear, exhaustion, shame, disappointment. A crankpus is often just someone who hasn’t learned to name what they’re actually feeling.
Emotions aren’t the problem—avoiding them is. When you don’t name what you’re feeling, it tends to show up louder, messier, and usually with collateral damage.
And if you’re on the receiving end of someone else’s stormcloud?
PSA: It’s not your job to fix everyone’s mood. Empathy is great. Enabling is not. If someone is stuck in crankpus mode permanently? That’s not a funk—it’s a lifestyle. Set a boundary. Protect your peace. Keep your sparkle.
So next time your inner crankpus comes out to play, ask yourself: Am I tired? Hungry? Hurt? Do I need to vent, cry, scream into a pillow, or cancel everything and watch bad TV with snacks?
Great. Do that. Then fix your face.
💩 Top 5 Signs You’re Emotionally Constipated
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You’ve replied “fine” at least 7 times today—none of them honestly.
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Your sighs are louder than your words.
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The group chat has gone suspiciously quiet after your last message.
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Even the dog is giving you side-eye.
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You’re mad and don’t know why—and everyone knows it.
⚠️ Warning: Crankpus energy may cause spontaneous eye rolls, contagious bad moods, and emotional whiplash in bystanders.
Because the world doesn’t need more adult temper tantrums. It needs more emotional honesty, fewer energy vampires, and a little accountability wrapped in stretch lace.
Put your big girl panties on and let’s do better.
BGPD Rule: Emotional constipation is real—don’t make it everyone else’s problem.
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