Big Girl Panties Diaries – Entry #108: Who Are You With? I’m With Myself.

For years, I had an easy answer to the question, “Who are you with?” A company name. A title. A logo on a badge.

It was neat. Respectable. Safe. Until it wasn’t.

This past week, I attended a conference — my first since launching my own consulting firm. And let me tell you, I lost count of how many times I got asked the same question: “Who are you with?”

The first time, I hesitated. Old reflexes kicked in. Then I smiled and said, “I’m with myself.”

My inner critic immediately chimed in: “That sounds ridiculous — say something more professional!” But another voice, calmer and wiser, whispered: “No. That’s exactly right.”

And for a split second, it felt strange — like showing up without makeup after years of full glam. But then it hit me: There’s nothing missing about standing on your own two feet. (See “Professional Me Is My PR Team — Meet the Real Me”.)

I wasn’t there representing a company this time. I was representing me. The woman who’s done the work, taken the hits, and rebuilt from the inside out. (See “Lost Two Jobs. Found My Backbone” and “Rebuilding Without a Blueprint (and Learning to Trust Again)."

Every time I said it — “I’m with myself” — it landed a little stronger. Like a declaration. Like a reclamation. Like a reminder that the only permission slip I’ll ever need is my own.

And here’s the wild part: once I stopped trying to belong somewhere, I realized I already did. Right here. In my own skin.

Because being “with yourself” means you’ve learned to trust your instincts, back your decisions, and speak your truth — even when it shakes a little. It’s not about independence for independence’s sake. It’s about alignment — knowing that you can be your own compass, your own advocate, your own calm in the chaos. (See “The Five Words I Build My Life Around”.)

Funny thing about leadership — the moment you stop needing validation is the moment people start giving you more of it. Confidence is magnetic, but calm confidence? That’s gravity.

Leaders talk about confidence like it’s loud. But the calm kind — the kind that comes from knowing who you are and what you bring to the table — that’s where the real power lives.

So yeah, when people ask me now who I’m with? I just smile.

Because I know exactly who I’m representing: The brand, the business, and the woman I’ve spent years becoming.

Big Girl Panties Rule: You don’t need a logo to belong. The strongest brand you’ll ever represent is yourself.

✨ Learn more about how I help leaders and organizations communicate clearly, lead calmly, and transform confidently at JulieWhittenConsulting.com.

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Next Reads:

• Lost Two Jobs. Found My Backbone.

• Rebuilding Without a Blueprint (and Learning to Trust Again).

• The Five Words I Build My Life Around.